Thursday, January 03, 2008

Welcome 2008 and I miss food

Well it’s come to this. I’m on a diet. This sucks. It has to be done though. I’ve let myself go too long solely eating beer and hot wings, and maybe lots of fancy cheese and baguettes slathered in butter. Oh dear God I’m hungry!

I know, I’ve been gone for 2 weeks, and here I am only to talk about food and the fact that I’m not eating any, and how terribly boring is that?! It’s just that when we were in Minnesota my mom and my aunt dragged me to try on wedding dresses and it wasn’t good. There were tears, and concerns that the other skinny women in the bridal boutique were quietly considering what type of man would marry a whale like me? Superficial and horrible? Yes. But I’m being honest. It sucked.

Most of me knows that I’m not really all that fat, but it’s just that I’m not comfortable in my own skin and have been running from cameras and form fitting clothing for about 2 years now, and it’s time to stop this foolishness. However, this is difficulty terrain for me because I have a long history of battling eating disorders, and severe ones at that. Basically, we’re on a slippery slope here, and I hope I don’t fall off.

Life goes on despite the fact I can’t have refined sugars.

Minnesota was alternatively super fun, and crushingly sad. Thus is the way of my family and the fact that no on can get past my parents’ failed marriage, despite the fact that they’ve been divorced longer than they were married. Such a drain on all. Also, step-parents are weird.

There’s that meme floating around, but really, all I can say is that I’m glad this year is over because it was hard.

9 comments:

Jess said...

I am glad you are back because I missed you dreadfully. And I hope that whatever diet you are on is a nice, reasonable one and not a hardcore crash diet. Although Tessie would probably prefer the latter because she loves to read about that stuff.

Also, I am so not looking forward to wedding dress shopping for the same reason. But at some point soon I'm going to have to face the facts. I'm sure there will be much grumpy ranting when I do.

Tessie said...

Well, I do love a good inadvisable diet, but I'm okay with an ADVISABLE one too.

I'm so glad you are back! Just this morning I thought to myself, "What if Flibberty DIED over the holiday? THAT WOULD SUCK!"

Artemisia said...

You're back! Yay! Did you avoid eating lutefisk?

I am sorry that shopping for a dress was so difficult. I just bought another pair of jeans - in yet another size up the chart - three days ago. ugh.

I have never had trouble with my weight, and I am just mortified and TERRIFIED that one of my resolutions is to lose weight. I don't quite know what to do. I know I need to get my butt to the gym (BARF) and somehow stop eating so much butter. (WHAT!?)

Because you are aware that this journey is especially fraught with danger for you, I think you will see any pitfalls and obstacles in plenty of time to leap over them gracefully. I do.

Let's support each other, shall we?

Stephanie said...

This year was hard, I agree, so cheers to a better 2008!

Also agreed on how weird step-parents are. Blah.

I'm happy that at least part of your vacation was SUPER FUN!

Pickles & Dimes said...

I am highly offended you did not come visit me during your trip to MN. Cater to my whims!

Also, I too am on a diet (although I remind myself 23097382975 times a day, "It's not a diet. I'm just going to cut back on portions") and it's going OK so far. I just hate how all I think about is food and calories and how even my frigging morning vitamin has 20 calories in it and all I want is to slug a liter of Mt. Dew and devour a plate of buffalo wings. I know it'll get easier over time, but man, right now it's FOOD FOR THOUGHT, ALL THE TIME.

I'm sorry about the wedding dress - that sucks. But I can't wait to see the dress you pick out!

claire said...

yay for diets. who doesn't love diets? i love diets. of course i do.
wedding dress shopping always appears to me as some sort of torture. i mean, it's not bad enough that you have to try on the sample dresses that are all 5 sizes too small, but then you have to parade around in the boutique in front of all those other people with them being held closed with giant clamps in the back. sexay.
don't stress, you. it'll all work out in the end.

amber said...

Welcome back, Flib! I missed you, too, and was on the verge of becoming huffy that there were no new blog posts when I visited, and DAMN don't you know it's your life's pursuit to entertain me!? (sorry)

As for dieting, GAG. Also, skinny brides: GAG GAG GAG. However, I look forward to reading about your progress and I'm sure you'll look superhot in no time.

amber said...

Btw, I thought you were already married...am I just dense?

Black Sheeped said...

I'm really glad I chose my resolution to be art-related. Ugh.

Welcome back!