Wednesday, June 25, 2008

gravity, with pictures!

Oh man. I can’t even begin to sum up the past few days. It’s been crazy. Just crazy.

We went up to my alma mater for a birthday party and it was one of the longer nights of my life. I elected to have us stay in a quaint little bed and breakfast within walking distance of downtown Appleton, and you know what the worst place to be stupidly drunk at 2:30am is? A quaint bed and breakfast, that’s where. We stumbled in so late, and I do believe I was shoeless. I sincerely hope that we did not disturb the newly weds who were spending their first married night in the room adjacent to us. I have a sneaking suspicion that they would not understand our drunken predicament seeing as they seemed the non-drinking type. Cursed teetotalers.

Adding insult to injury was the emergency stop at a gas station somewhere on the Wisconsin/Illinois border in order for me to puke my guts out on the drive home. I’m so sorry to all patrons of that particular gas station/family diner. I really hope your kids learned an important lesson from my vulgar display of stupidity: NEVER BINGE DRINK OVER THE AGE OF 20 (actually, just don’t binge drink I suppose).

I blame it on Appleton. There is something in the air of that town that makes people drunk. I never get drunk like that unless I’m at a wedding, because I cannot get over the privilege of an open bar and feel like I owe it to the hosts to take full advantage of their generosity. Maybe that’s why my wedding invitation receipts have declined dramatically this year? Nah.

It was stupid and it took fully 2-days to get over that night and thusly I accomplished nothing productive Saturday or Sunday. In fact that only thing I did accomplish was to experience extreme insomnia Saturday night that was virtually intractable. I was worried I would never sleep again. Both Brett and I experienced this phenomenon and we both finally gave up and had sex and that seemed to do the trick. You know you’re in a long term relationship when sex is sometimes a tool for sleep as opposed to a purely pleasure seeking device.

Luckily, it worked, and we finally got to sleep around 5am.

Monday was spent packing, lifting, grunting, sweating and rigging couches to dangle off of second floor balconies until they rested gently on the ground several feet below. My man, he’s some kind of genius. Honestly, without him, the future occupant of that apartment would have a free couch because there was no way that puppy was going out the door. Also, he lowered that couch to the ground all by himself. We have pictures to prove it (note that I am doing nothing but taking pictures, which is really evidence of my uselessness in this moving/home owning thing):

Wednesday, June 18, 2008

Ear Worm

The blinds in my office are mysteriously drawn today. I did not draw them, so the question remains, who did? My office is locked when I’m not here (sensitive documents lie within the confines of my confine, so I must lock them up to protect the innocent) so I do believe that the only logical conclusion is that my office is haunted. Either that or my boss (the only other person with a key) came in and closed my blinds and maybe stole some Diet Coke, because that’s missing too. Bosses, they cannot be trusted.

Speaking of a lack of trust, I no longer trust my blog reading abilities. I have slacked off for weeks now and it’s so uncool. I mean, I’ve basically fell off the commenting wagon and it’s not because I don’t want to comment, it’s just that I have so much other shit to do that demands attention no matter how little I want to give attention.

I know, it’s so fascinating to read about how busy someone is. Maybe I should now discuss the fact that Brett and I literally watched pain dry last week, or the ins and outs of mold removal of the upstairs bathroom medicine cabinet? That might be just as interesting. (Seriously, what kind of people rest their wet toothbrushes on a wooden surface, repeatedly, such that black mold develops, and then continue to rest their toothbrushes in the same spot despite the presence of aforementioned black mold? Oh my god, so GROSS!)

I’ll leave the house/yard talk to Brett, because honestly, he’s doing most of it. I clean; that’s about all I do. Brett does the actual work, and then I pick up and cleanse the aftermath. It’s all very gender appropriate and all that shit, but really, I have no knowledge of electrical wiring or wielding of pole saws, so it’s best that I stick to what I do know: bleach and Murphy’s Oil Soap.

We also go to Menards on a daily, sometimes bi-daily basis. You know what? You really can save big money at Menards. (If you live anywhere near a Menards, I apologize for inserting that ear worm into your day) We shopped for a new vent/light/heater for the basement bathroom, and the very same unit was $158 dollars at Lowes, whereas it was $72 at Menards. Shocking.

You see what we’ve become? Home owners.

This weekend, however, we’re off to Appleton, Wisconsin for some debauchery. My best friend from college is turning 30 and her husband is throwing her a surprise party at our former favorite watering hold. I cannot wait to show Brett around my alma mater and possibly start crying at the educational opportunities I wasted by being drunk and possibly stoned and these same opportunities are now afforded to people a full 12 years younger than I. Not fair.

Thursday, June 12, 2008

Eight fascinating things

Katrin tagged me for this meme approximately forever ago, but you know, we went out of town and bought a house and continue to move into said house and then there's work and wedding planning crap and holy hell I'm busy to infinity. But, I never ignore a proper tag, because I love it when I get tagged, especially by someone who lives in Vienna. I mean, how cool is that?!

8 Things:

Eight things I’m passionate about (interpreted to mean 8 things that get me all sorts of riled up in good or bad ways)
1. homeless or abused pets
2. women’s rights
3. driving in or around Chicago
4. people who think their way is the correct way
5. incidental charges on my bank account or my credit cards
6. Things that are too good to be true
7. Food
8. Brett

Eight things I want to do before I die
1. travel to every continent
2. raise a kid
3. retire
4. feel at home somewhere
5. have more friends than time
6. feel good in my own skin
7. have a garden that produces produce
8. regret less

Eight things I say often
1. “I’m certain I’m not sure”
2. “Uff da” (for real, I say it all the time without even knowing it)
3. “Shut up!” (mainly directed towards Brett because he makes fun of me for saying #2)
4. “Oh yaaa” (spoken like a character in “Fargo”)
5. “Tsst!” (directly at our dogs when they bark at the sky, the wind, invisible forces, etc)
6. “I cannot wait to . . .”
7. “I should really . . .” (clue that I’m a huge procrastinator)
8. “If only we had more money. Sigh.”

Eight books I’ve read recently
1. The Year of Pleasures by Elizabeth Berg
2. Fraud by David Rakoff
3. Dave Barry’s Guide to Guys (What? It was 5 cents at a garage sale a few weekends ago)
4. Broken Promises by a former polygamist about her life living in Mexico as a second wife who’s name I cannot remember
5. The Avon catalog
6. Things to do with a law degree (sometimes I consider a career change)
7. The PMS Outlaws (my sister sends me paperback mysteries and mostly they are crap)
8. Getting the Love you want (the dude who wrote it was on Oprah and I do love me some Oprah recommendations)

Eight movies I’ve seen eight times
1. Top Gun
2. Bull Durham
3. Bridget Jones’ Diary
4. Sliding Doors
5. When Harry Met Sally
6. Field of Dreams
7. Austin Powers
8. The Firm