Wednesday, December 31, 2008

Move over 2008, here comes something better

Look, there were a lot of wonderful things that happened this past year, but honestly, I'm so freaking glad that it's over. Brett and I were going over all the shit that went down over the course of the last year, and oh my hell, that was a lot of stuff to deal with. I have a tremendous amount of relief knowing that I can file it all away as DONE and NEVER AGAIN. Oh my God, so much relief.

This year I hope to settle down and just enjoy the gifts I have, and not lament the losses or lacks in my life. I have a lot of things to treasure, if only I'd stop concentrating on the "only ifs." I wish you all a Happy New Year.

Tuesday, December 30, 2008

Bringin' da crazy

First thing’s first, I totally started up again because Tess did. It’s true. I read her post and thought, man, why aren’t I blogging anymore? Because it’s all about me, all the time, apparently.

Secondly, I’ve had a lot of strange things happening to me lately; strange in the way that they can’t all be coincidences. Someone once told me, or maybe it was in a book (who am I kidding? It was probably in a magazine) that when shit like this happens, it’s just because you started paying attention and noticed things that would normally go unnoticed. The used the example of the number 23. Apparently you tell people that 23 is the most common number, and suddenly people are looking for 23 and noticing it, whereas they normally would not pay any attention. The result is that they see all these 23s and are like, “you’re right, 23 is totally common!” I say that’s very NOT fun and I prefer my logic: It’s magical and mysterious and I am special!

I totally believe in the crazy shit though. I mean, not the really crazy shit (mostly), but I am a firm believer in the unknowable and the special and the universe working in ways that I don’t understand (some may call them “mysterious ways” :). Maybe it’s just a way for me to keep hopeful in times of stress, or happy in times of sadness, but I like it when the universe sort of winks at you and I take comfort in the weirdest of weird things. And believe me when I say I am not a very religious person in the usual meaning of that term. It’s just nice to feel like maybe, just maybe, I’m on the right path even if I mostly feel like I’m flailing down life’s path like a monkey doing cartwheels. I sort of use these “coincidences” as the universe’s little mile-markers and it gives me a sense of peace and trajectory that I mostly lack.

And now we will return to the slightly less insane ramblings of your’s truly . . . except that I have to go now, so that’s all you get.

It's sure been a while

Hi there. I’m still alive and kicking, just not writing much these days. I got very bored with myself somewhere in there, and just couldn’t conjure enough excitement word wise to hit “publish.” Then I just got too far away from this place and felt silly going back. You know how that is, it’s like when you’re gone from the gym for many weeks and you want to go back, but feel dumb because you don’t want people to ask why you stopped going or notice that you’ve gotten grossly out of shape, etc. Maybe that experience is mine alone.

Anywho, all is well here in Flib land. I still have a job, a home, a husband, and two stinky dogs. The house has undergone some serious changes and thanks to my husband, all have been performed without charge. I’m just around for moral support and clean up crew. It works out just fine. We are currently in the middle of a complete bathroom remodel, including putting in a shower. For some reason, the main bathroom in our house, the one in between all the bedrooms, did not come with a shower. Annoying. So Brett is having a crash course in plumbing. Very exciting.

However, lesson learned in that undertaking a massive construction project days before Christmas is a very very VERY bad idea. (reasonable people, like you, surely know this already)

So, the house, it is a mess, and it will stay that way for another two-weeks because we are off to the Bahamas. We are taking a cruise and I could not be more excited. It will be our first real vacation. Every time we go somewhere (including our “honeymoon,” yes our honeymoon) we have some sort of family along for the ride. We have never done anything alone that lasted more than two nights. It is only appropriate for this is the kick-off for baby making season.

Yup, you read that right. The cruise will be our last hurrah before I get all crazy for the baby. You may be thinking that it’s weird to “schedule” your hopeful conception, except that in may case it’s not, because I’ve been on this hormone that stops ovulation, so it’s actually impossible (mostly) for me to get pregnant before that’s out of my system, and it won’t be out of my system until January 15th (ish), so this cruise is timed perfectly.

This may be my only outlet for discussions of getting pregnant. I don’t really want to discuss it with people I know in the “real world” because, well, I don’t know, I just don’t. Also, Brett may get tired of hearing about my cervical mucous and my basal temperature, so this may be the perfect outlet for me (and cue the loss of all readers). Hopefully, we will have good news, but maybe we won’t and maybe this will be a good place to write about our difficulties. So, I guess that’s the plan here . . . to chronicle this adventure and maybe get some advice and support.