Wednesday, April 09, 2008

It's hard to be me: version 3,000,048 ***UPDATED***

***UPDATE****
The seller's countered again, which is kind of a relief really, becuase now Brett and I can go back out there and take another look and see if there is a sign or some sort of gut feeling that this house is either the one or not the one. It's really so difficult to say, because I really like the house and the neighborhood, but it's the garage. The garage sucks and I'm not sure there's a way to help it. Stay tunned, we'll know tomorrow.

I’m all nervous today because I’m waiting to here if an offer was accepted on a house that we maybe want to buy, but maybe don’t want to buy. This is so ridiculous. We looked at a house on Monday and we liked it, we really liked it, but of course, it was not perfect. We know that we will never find the “perfect” house, because there is no perfect house in our price-range, so basically we’re looking for a house with the least amount of compromise. The house we looked at on Monday had some really great things about it. It had a big yard that was fenced, it was in a good neighborhood, and it had potential. Unfortunately, it also had a smaller garage, and the garage is very important. But, it did have a big basement and that sort of makes up for a smaller garage, sort of. So, we made an offer.

They countered, but not really, because they stayed at their asking price, but conceded closing costs. Gee, thanks!

We countered, and then they countered again, and then we countered and now here we sit. Waiting. We’re hoping that they don’t take the offer, because I think we’d like another go at this negotiation crap. And when I say we’d like another go, I mean Brett would like another go, because next time, I’m deferring to him. I know that sounds lame, but I just don’t like it and I get too nervous and anxious and I really would just prefer to take second chair on this.

I know, I’m a lawyer, but I’m a more behind the scenes, in the books kind of lawyer, not a negotiator. I’m the one who researches and puts together the papers, not the one who goes to the mattresses. Fuck, I’m way too prone to FREAKING OUT to be any good under pressure.

Also, I’m kind of a rash decision maker. When I was little, I was so shy and lacked confidence to a very unhealthy degree, that I never voiced my opinion or felt comfortable making a decision. I have grown up, and unfortunately, I now overcompensate for my earlier life by making decision too quickly and without enough thought. It’s like I see a decision that needs to be made, and I’m still sort of afraid of it, so I just jump in full bore and get it over with. This is a good tactic for certain fears, but not decision making. I need to step-away from the decisions for a bit and learn how to tackle them with intelligence, not just brut force.

So anyway (tangent city!), here we sit, in this weird place where we maybe have a contract on a house that we like, but will actually be happy if they don’t accept the offer and we can walk away. Perverse? Yes. Typical of me? Certainly.

P.S. My future husband should be sainted for his patience and understanding of my inner workings.

9 comments:

Jess said...

I was going to be all like, I hope you get the house! But now I'm kind of like, I hope you don't get the house! But it does sound like a good house so secretly I am still kind of hoping you get it.

LoriD said...

This was so good! I understand how you're feeling, because I feel that way with almost every big decision I make. I'm all gung-ho, confident on the outside, all the while silently hoping someone else will take the decision out of my hands. That way, I can call it fate and move on.

The Dutchess of Kickball said...

Why must home buying be so stressfull?

Tessie said...

AHHH! Good luck with this house crap! I am the exact.same.way. about decisions. Also, I don't think there's anything wrong with letting Brett take the negotiating wheel. It's a matter of delegating the task to whomever is stronger. BR is a wicked killer negotiator so I like to leave that shit to him. Also, it gives me the Nervous Tummy (what DOESN'T, GOD?)

Pickles & Dimes said...

I am the same way about making decisions: used to be shy when with my Ex, now I make rash decisions with Jason and then waffle whenever he says, "Are you sure?" So I've improved on my decision-making skills, but need to work on my sticking-with-decision skills.

House buying is stressful. With my first one, I came home a nervous wreck, handed the phone to my ex and went to sleep for 6 hours.

I hope you guys find the perfect house for you and your budget.

Alice said...

i HAAAAAAAATE negotiating. HATE. hate hate hate. makes me nervous and uncomfortable. i hate haggling too, especially in like 3rd world countries where they quote some hugely inflated price b/c a) they always start high, and b) i'm obviously a white tourist, and then i'm like "ok, sounds good!" and whoever i'm with gets pissed at me, but honestly it's like FIVE DOLLARS and they can HAVE MY FIVE DOLLARS, i am not haggling some destitute 3rd world person down to two dollars EVEN IF THAT'S WHAT EVERYONE ELSE PAYS *gasp pass out*

JMC said...

I hate negotiating so much that even on a CAR LOT, the place where negotiating is MANDATORY, I just look at the salesman and say, "I don't do negotiating, so if I don't like what you tell me, I'm going elsewhere." Oddly, it seems to work.

Also, when my husband and I were looking for a house, we put in an offer and then regretted it, so we were happy when they turned it down.

Ok, Where Was I? said...

I don't like watching the negotiations on those tv house shows, so I can't imagine having to do it in real life. Now I'm all anxious, so you're going to have to post right away with the results.

Artemisia said...

I cannot make a decision in the cereal aisle in less than ten agonizing minutes, so I can imagine your mental state right now. Bah.

Have you heard anything yet?