Tuesday, February 26, 2008

Sometimes I think doctors just like to fuck with us

Hey guess what . . . I am voluntarily going into temporary menopause! Yup, you read that correctly. It seems that while my doctor was able to get rid of 50% of the endometriosis, the rest would have been too risky to attend to surgically. So I get to go on a friendly little drug called Lupron. Anyone familiar with this? It's a shot I'll get every 3 months for 6 months, and then I'll go back to normal. Each shot costs . . . wait for it . . . $1500 dollars! It must be made of gold and underbelly fur of Tibetan goats.

The doctor helpfully gave me full color picture of my uterus, fallopian tubes and ovaries. Apparently my fallopian tubes are "beautiful." They looked slimy and pink to me.

So, to ensure future fertility and to get rid of this fucking pain, I will start Lupron as soon as the Japanese manufacturer ships $3,000 worth of the shit to my doctor. I will also go on some other crap to help manage the hot flashes and hair growth. I told my doctor that I refuse to be a sweaty, furry beast on my wedding day. Ridiculous.

On a happy note, no period for 6 months! No birth control pill! No PMS! Hopefully those things will outweigh the possible mustache growth.

10 comments:

The Dutchess of Kickball said...

Hey, no periods would be fantastic!

3carnations said...

Please tell me some of that is covered by insurance...

LoriD said...

It will be good practice for the real thing is 20 years or so!

Artemisia said...

Oh - GEEZ.

Well, now would be a good time to find a salon you trust to wax your lip and chin... Kindness and discretion seem like key attributes in this future salon employee.

Oh, I hope this helps, Flib. I really do. I can't imagine how ANNOYING and kinda frightening it must be to have to put up will all this.

Hang in there!

Tessie said...

I really, really hope it helps!

I've heard of Lupron, I think on some INFERTILITY blogs? How does it help with endometriosis?

Jess said...

Wow. How can anything possibly be that expensive? Other than, like, a house. Does insurance pay for part of it, at least?

CAQuincy said...

LOL!

Hmmm....I think I would be willing to have a mustache if it meant no bc pill and no PMS and no periods for six months.....Lemme think....

Heaven knows I'd certainly be willing to get PREGNANT just so that I could blissfully go without a period for nine months....

Oh, I do hope that your insurance is covering this!

claire said...

holy hell is that scary. what is putting you into menopause going to do to the endometriosis? no comprende.
and i, too, hope that it's covered by insurance - the goat hair and gold - because omg $3000.

but on the other hand, no one has ever told me that i have "beautiful fallopian tubes". am jealous.

Banana said...

Oh man! I hope insurance pays for some of it. I hate how expensive perscriptions are - lame.

But no periods or birth control sounds like a good side effect.

Marie Green said...

"fury underbelly of goat" Haa, haa haa!

Man, that sucks, but I can see the awesome in no peroids. And you get a preview of future you, for when REAL menopause comes rolling along.

Also, in that dress, you could be hairy as an ape and still be gorgeous! =)