Parenting is HARD. I know, it's shocking. But here's the thing, I knew it would be tiring and emotionally demanding to have a baby, but I got it totally wrong. I'm really not all that tired, and most of the emotion comes from how much I LOVE this child of mine. The thing that's hard is that it never stops. There are no breaks. It's constant and completely overwhelming at times. Especially because our child does not even sleep by herself, so there is literally no break. I'm not really complaining here, I'm not, because I wouldn't trade it for the world, but I am stopping to pause and say, "hey, this is different and kind of hard." There's a shit load of responsibility (DUH!) and that in and of itself is HARD. Every parent goes through it, and we are not special.
To that end, I need to take better care of myself because I am fatigued. We sleep great, it's just in a family bed. This is what works for us right now, because I'd rather get 8 hours of sleep with the baby, than 3 with her in her own bed. Plus, she's doing amazingly well, and why fuck with it? I know, I'm defensive, but seriously, you can't imagine the weirdness we receive in response to the knowledge that our baby sleeps in our bed. To each their own, but it's not that weird. Goodnight.
Now, since having this baby, my back and sciatica are screaming at me, and now my knees have started to hurt. I've lost the baby weight, but quite frankly, I really didn't gain that much anyway. The weight I have was here before the baby. The thing is that before the baby I was not lifting 18 pounds on a regular basis, and spending huge portions of my day on the floor and in contorted positions in response to an increasingly mobile infant. It's taking its toll and I need to get into physical shape so I won't need to replace all of my joints. It's ridiculous how old I physically feel. It's unnecessary too.
So . . . here we go with a health kick. And let's hope it's not a kick but an actual healthy forever. God help me, I sort of hate this, but I have to do it for me and my baby. I want to be a physically active mom and keep up with my baby and hopefully her babies. I don't want to be like my parents who cannot (for various reasons, not all their fault) babysit their grand-daughter. I want to feel good and feel energetic.
But how do I do this? Well first and foremost I have got to lose weight. I think that if I lost 20 pound I would feel markedly better, but if I lost 40 pounds I would feel terrific (not to mention probably look a lot better). But how do I do this? Eat less, obvs. The thing that makes me nervous about this is that I'm still 100% breastfeeding, which makes me hungrier than I could ever imagine. It's like having the munchies several times a day. If I don't eat regularly, I literally get sick. I feel dizzy, nauseous, all together awful. So how do I limit my caloric intake without compromising myself and my baby? Eat good food right? No more M&Ms and white bread and butter. So sad, but so necessary.
So, that's that. I have to publically declare that from here on out I am going to make a valid, valid, earnest attempt to get healthy. For my family. Hopefully it will be a HUGE success, but if things don't get off to a good start I may break down and joint WW or something. We'll see, but wish me well on this endevour, however easy it seems to some, it's not for me.
8 comments:
Oh my gosh, that photo killed me dead! SO CUTE.
Good luck with the healthy eating/living endeavor. I hope you can find the time to take some time for yourself.
P.S. I'm glad you posted - I missed you!
LOOK AT HER!!!!!! Oh, those eyes! That smile!
I hear ya, sister. And I have your back.
I miss you.
I have been thinking nearly the same thing, but that I want to keep up with the nieces and nephews. I overslept by an hour the other day and my shoulders were killing me. Basically, I have no muscles to hold me together so I slept all callapsed or something and it hurts. WTF!?
And yes, I need to lose the 20 pounds I have gained over the past six years.
I've never done this. I too, ask, HOW?
So, I am trying to limit sugar. Once I started, I was amazed how sneakily sugar is in EVERYTHING. Suddenly, I see how much processed ick I eat. Even though I cook from scratch! How is this possible?
This may be a long haul. Let's do it together!!!
Oh, I've missed you.
Omg, baby pictures AND a healthkick? This is a DREAM COME TRUE!! I do hope you'll keep us, and by us I mean ME, posted.
Yeah Flibberty is still with us!!! We too have started a health thing around here and as such have gone through the "Insanity" 60 day workout. It is awful, but I am more toned. I have only lost 6 pounds though which screams "was it worth it?" Good luck to you and keep us posted.
And the whole weirdness from others due to sleeping arrangments...To hell with anyone who gives you crap about it. If it works for you, it works!! Co-sleeping only worked with one of our three. Anyone who gives you problems just show this picture of your gorgeous, healthy little gilr!
DUDE! HI! also: LOOK AT HERRRR OMG HEEEEE!
hope things go smoothly with the health kick :-) keep us (i agree with tess, that obvs means ME) posted!
Good luck! I know you'll do great. And I hope you blog about it along the way. And keep posting baby pictures because OMG.
OMGoodness, I just LOVE her!
Good luck, sweetie. :-)
Seriously, she's ADORBS!
Re: family bed. Our policy was "sleep where everyone can SLEEP". For large chunks our our children's babyhood and toddlerhood, that meant together. Other times, it meant working to get them sleeping in their own bed b/c my husband and I were no longer sleeping well with them there... but really, the goal is to SLEEP, and it sounds like you've found a solution that is working great for your sweet little family!
You DO need more calories while nursing, but I think you are right that you'll feel better (and have more energy) if you cut back on the sugars and simple carbs. Hard! I KNOW! But probably worth trying...
Good luck. And so great to see you blogging again!
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