Thursday, March 13, 2008

bringin' da noise

Brett and I often discuss the fact that Chicago seems to have very little relation (beside geographical, political, technical) with Illinois. This became even clearer today when I had to call Springfield (the capital) and inquire as to what exact documentation I needed to bring with me to the 10th circle of hell, A.K.A. the DMV, to register my car (yes, I know I’ve lived here 8 months and have yet to switch plates, mind your own bees’ wax). The man who answered had a thick southern drawl and called me “ma’am” repeatedly.

When did I move to the South?

The thing about Illinois is that Chicago is up around the top, the tippity-top, of the state, but Illinois descends deep into the middle of the country, meeting up with such states as Missouri and Kentucky. These states are most decidedly Southern and the fact that Illinois shares a border with said states makes it possibly Southern itself. I mean, I think there’s a Waffle House down there and I swear there was a comedian or some such who claimed that it wasn’t the Mason-Dixon Line that determined North v. South, but the Waffle House Line. (anyone know who said that?)

Illinois seems to be a state that defies classification. It’s got Chicago, which is decidedly Midwestern, but if you go visit Carbondale (southern most tip) you will feel like you’re in Arkansas. I know this because I’ve been to Carbondale and I wondered if we drove too far.

If I lived outside of the Chicago metro area (which I will in very short order, but not by much) I would be pissed that Chicago lead the legislature and ate up most of the money. It would royally piss me off if I had to pay higher taxes so that the “L” could keep running, even though I never used the “L” and would really instead like to have the potholes in the highway fixed, or you know build a NEW highway. It would also piss me off that my Senator, Mr. Obama, took a plane or a helicopter (I don’t remember which) to Springfield because he didn’t want to live anywhere in Illinois but Chicago. Oh, and he used taxpayer funds to do this. (too lazy to verify this, but I heard it was true)

Brett and I are leaving the delineated confines of Chicago for a number of reasons. First of all, it’s easier for me to be far away from the office than for him to be far away from school (what with the working from home bidness), and second of all, suburbs kind of suck and we can’t afford to have a yard in the city. Do any of you ever watch “What you get for the Money?” Chicago real estate is obscene. It pains me to think of the one room condo we could afford in the city, whereas out in the sticks we can have an estate (not really, but at least a yard).

Also, I feel like the rest of Illinois is the much ignored and over looked younger sibling. The poor thing is working so hard, being such a good little state and no one is paying any attention to it. We’re just eating all the corn it consistently produces and then tossing the husks on the floor for it to pick up. It deserves some attention, and damnit, we’re gonna give it to it. I plan to put the “noise” back in Illinois[e].

20 comments:

B2G said...

You mean Chicago isn't it's own state? I had no idea.

nancypearlwannabe said...

Sigh. We just looked at a STUDIO CONDO up the street for us and it was "priced to sell" at $469,000. Why, Boston, why?!

Animanous said...

We can bring the noise to ILLinois. Perhaps the DMV will issue a licence to ILL...like the beastie boys...I am sooo lame.

Jess said...

It sounds like moving out of the Chicago metro area is a good choice for you two. And then maybe house hunting will be less of a suicide-inducing process.

Tessie said...

We used to feel this way growing up about the Twin Cities. It's like it's the ONLY thing in MN, even though there is a pretty decent sized state full of Other Stuff.

It sucked because we would watch KARE 11 news or whatever, and not only would they ignore our weather report, the weather guy would actually STAND IN FRONT OF OUR PART OF THE STATE while he showed the weather. So we couldn't even SEE our forecast.

Noelle said...

There was an Onion headline a few years back, I posted it on my fridge. It said, "Mason-Dixon line renamed I-Hop Waffle House Line." It's funny because it's true.

New York is like Illinois, but backwards. All the action's at the bottom of the state, and it gets more and more rural as you move towards Canada.

LoriD said...

We have the same thing here, except it's Toronto. We're close enough that we can at least enjoy the riches of the city, but the people in northern Ontario (1000 miles from Toronto) still have to subsidize the subway system.

Sparkling Cipher said...

The commute controversy was Gov. Blagojovich. He spent something like $5,000 per trip to fly a state airplane to and from Chicago because he didn't want to live in the governor's mansion in Springfield. So Illinois taxpayers spent more than $75,000 in one month to have their governor live in Chicago instead of the capital! Apparently this didn't seem unreasonable to him until the media got hold of the story.

Banana said...

Seattle is sort of like that for Washington. Our county pretty much makes the decisions for the rest of the state in general elections, which definitely isn't fair.

Good luck house hunting!

JMC said...

Well, Chicago DOES have a song, a Broadway show, a movie-musical AND a band named after it. Perhaps it should demand residuals from those so that some of the rest of the state's taxpayer dollars can actually go to some of the rest of the state.

Valerie said...

A great thing about living in the south?

My 3BR/2BA house cost $100,000, and I have 2.5 acres of land.

3carnations said...

Oh, please don't put the "noise" back in Illinois. It drives me nuts when people say it like that. :)

Anonymous said...

Where would they put a new highway? They have in the past taken the old road down to dirt and rebuilt it with new asphalt and concrete.

Artemisia said...

My ENTIRE STATE is the sticks. *sigh*

Artemisia said...

P.S. (dammit - too eagher to hit publish!!)

People get crabby that the TWO TOWNS that have 50,000 people each get all of the attention.

50,000.

JEEZUZ.

desperate housewife said...

Firstly, to Artemesia: Do you live in ALASKA or something?
And to Flibb: I won't tell you what our house cost, it'll depress the crap out of you. But we're still going to end up taking a loss on it for sure in this sucky market, so don't envy us too much. At least you don't have a house to SELL before you can move.

amber said...

Goodluck house hunting. And moving. If I was anywhere near you, I'd offer my packing services (shaky and horrifying though they may be), because I know how much moving utterly sucks.

SLynnRo said...

This is just funny. I love the corn part.

Cheri said...

Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!! More updates!! :)

Lara said...

Hee! This is so cute. I love your plan to bring the noise. Rock on, Flib!