Wednesday, March 05, 2008

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Well kids, it’s official. I had my first hot flash.

(If you’re playing at home, you should be aware that I’m currently on Lupron treatment for endometriosis. Lupron induces temporary menopause because it basically ceases production of a large quantity of estrogen. It’s also used for fertility treatments, but in my case, it’s for endometriosis.)

So last night, I awoke about 3am absolutely drenched in sweat. To make matters worse, I was trapped under two sleeping dogs, in flannel sheets and flannel pajamas. I kicked myself free of the bed and the dogs (note, I did not kick the dogs, but had to surreptitiously remove my legs from their HOT bodies) and did so with such disgust that I actually woke Brett up. He thought I was having a nightmare, but in reality I was just a firey, hot MESS.

Jesus, this sucks.

Also, I have my period. Apparently, you often have at least one period after starting Lupron. Fine, but this is not my average period. Usually it’s relatively pain free and LIGHT. Not this time. Unfortunately, it first revealed itself while I was at the bank doing my pre-approval crap from the bank lady and I had to excuse myself and race to the bathroom and why do banks not stock tampons or pads or sanitary napkins or whatever the kids are calling them these days? (Yes, I know, many women keep these things in their purses. Whatever) I was forced to go all MacGuyver (*edited to spell MAcGUyger correctly, because I cannot spell TV character names*) on my girl parts and that’s something no woman should ever do.

Also, there is pain; intense, searing, uteral pain and WHY? I think this was exactly the thing the Lupron was supposed to stop, but apparently my endometriosis is making a final stand. What a bitch.

20 comments:

The Dutchess of Kickball said...

Oh no, creating an arts and crafts maxi pad is bad bad bad. I feel for you, I'm sorry.

Pickles & Dimes said...

I'm sorry your endometriosis is being such a w*ore. I hope everything regulates itself soon. And I can't imagine having a hot flash while trapped in flannel jammies and sheets - god.

I'm one of those women who normally carries girl stuff in my purse. But last summer I went to a street festival with some friends and I left my purse in the car because I didn't want to bother with it. My period (normally so very, very regular) showed up TWO WEEKS EARLY, and after standing in line for a bar bathroom for 30 minutes, I finally gave up and used a semi-suspect port-a-potty, where I totally MacGuyvered it - not ideal.

JMC said...

I've had to create homemade pads so often, that I FINALLY gave in and started carrying a panty liner, pad and tampon in my purse. Now I'm ready for anything, except that I hate carrying a purse, so as often as possible I leave it in the car. Maybe actually KEEPING TRACK of my periods would help. Instead of just flying by the seat of my pants.

Jess said...

This sounds AWFUL. I can't believe you'll have to go through menopause TWICE! But at least the second time around it'll be like old hat.

Tessie said...

Ugg, the night sweats sound horrible.

I hope it gets better soon.

Fun Endometriosis Fact! My sister had a very severe case and was still able to get pregnant and deliver my nephew with no problems.

Alice said...

oh geez. that sucks. i'm sorry.

i'm (sadly) very adept at mcguyvering girlystuff. i am never prepared. clearly i should have joined the boyscouts at some point.

Noelle said...

Ick. That reminds me of the time I forgot my pill when I went on vacation and all hell broke loose. For the record, if you're ever in my hood, I usually have tampons on hand, even in the "off season." That's one of the great things about a purse with lots of pockets.

Banana said...

Oh, that sounds awful - I'm sorry. And I HATE having to maneuvers bathroom toiletries into girl bit protectors. HATE.

claire said...

Dude, that sucks.
My favorite 'arts and crafts' experience was in a restroom at some Mayan ruins in Belize. I was a few days early and not prepared and the Belize restroom was not well stocked with ANYTHING, let alone real and actual tampons or pads. It was nightmarish.... and i made a mess. Ew.

Penny said...

thanks for the lupron clarification.

Yea, hot flashes suck (I've had them for other reasons), although in the night they're officially "night sweats" which are worse, I think.

Hope you don't have to stay on lupron for long.

Flibberty said...

I'm relieved to hear I'm not the only one who's had to "improvise" with the lady problems.

And wait, I didn't have a hot flash, I had a night sweat? Oh dear. Why is it so hard to be a girl?

LoriD said...

Oh, that sucks - not only are you getting a period you weren't supposed to get, but it's heavy and painful? Not fair.

Katrin said...

I've had to improvise many a time. What doesn't kill us makes us stronger, huh?
Sorry to hear that you are having such a hard time. Does it help to tell you that what you describe as a unpleasant period is the light version of what I go through, every single month? :)

Ok, Where Was I? said...

Oh, this sucks. But would it be wrong to say that this post was funny? I hate having to MacGuyver it--I never have stuff with me. Even when it IS that time of the month. I hope you feel better soon.

amber said...

Eeesh! And I hope you feel better. *hugs* for Flibberty!

Cheri said...

Sorry Flib - that really sucks :(

Cheri said...

Oh, and I - too - have had to improvise the lady products. It sucks.

Anonymous said...

We make some really cool sleepwear that will wick away your night sweats leaving you cool, dry and able to go back to sleep without pealing off your PJ's

Go to www.wildbleu.com for more info!

desperate housewife said...

I am always fashioning makeshift pads out of Kleenex or t.p. ALWAYS. I am so bad about remembering when the ole time of the month is. Maybe I should just breastfeed Eli until he's three or four to delay the period returning? 'Cause I do NOT miss the cramps or the hasty bathroom runs!
Sorry about this sucky period. And the hot flashes! Gross.

SLynnRo said...

McGuyvering the girl parts- been there, done that. I am a master of not being prepared for the arrival of the period. Also terrified by the preview of menopause- GAH!