Friday, February 15, 2008

Office Sweater

Do you guys have an “office sweater?” You know a sweater that you keep at work and wear almost daily because your office it kept at the temperature of a meat locker? This sweater never goes home and does not actually match anything you own and maybe it’s from the 80’s and is probably hideous. There was an article about office sweaters in the Chicago Tribune last weekend (I can’t find the link, even with my sleuthing skills including googling the terms “office sweater” and “chicago tribune”) and I was shocked because I did not know that everyone had an office sweater. But then I took a walk around my office and I realized that really and truly EVERYONE (even the boys) has an office sweater.

I do. My mom bought it for me in 1994 from The Bibelot in Minneapolis. It’s a BIG grey wool cardigan that is double breasted. You read that correctly, I have a double breasted cardigan. It’s wool, but it’s some kind of fancy wool that is super duper soft and luxurious and it makes me feel so cozy and comfortable at my less than cozy and comfortable office.

What other things do I have that solely live at the office and never see the light of the real world?

An alarm clock circa 1981 that is pointless because no radio broadcasts can penetrate the walls of the armada that I apparently work in.
A plant that is near death, but won’t quite die. It’s sort of in hospice.
A candy jar, with Jolly Ranchers given to me by a former boss at my first lawyerin’ job (yes, I’ve moved them across the country TWICE)
Countless mugs of varying degrees of stupidity. The worst one says, “30 feels great!” that I got for my birthday two years ago (when I was 28).
A coloring book featuring “Great Lawyers” that my mom gave me for Easter last year (she’s awesome in that way).

So, what weirdness do you have in your office (home or out of home)?


Stephanie said...

Oh, I DEFINITELY have an office sweater! Oversized, cream-colored, heavy knit. Before it moved to the office, I wore it to bed. I also have a number of pashmina scarves which are helpful in case the temperature drops below 50. Which it sometimes does. At my old job, I had a heavy blanket stuffed into one of my drawers that I wrapped my legs in.

Other than that, nothing too exciting. I have the same photos on my desk that haven't been changed since my first ever job and have come everywhere with me since.

The Dutchess of Kickball said...

I had one office that was so cold I had the office sweater, a space heater and a BLANKET! That thing was cozy. It even followed me to the next office where I left the sweater at home and only used the blanket.

Tessie said...

I have an office fleece (blue hooded from Old Navy) AND an office HEATER, that's how effing freezing it is in here all the time.

I drag my diplomas to every office I have, even though I've never hung them. I have a dying plant that someone ELSE waters for me, since I always forget.

AND I have a stuffed "Baylor Bear" that I've drug from job to job too.

And a 6-pack of V8 I've been working on for like 2 months.

Wait, I have a lot of shit in here!

Jess said...

I am, I believe, the only person in my office who does not have an office sweater. It's funny because we're all so allegedly professionally dressed and yet it becomes acceptable to walk around draped in hideous poncho type things that are definitely not business-casual.

I don't have much at my office that is weird. Maybe I haven't been there long enough.

claire said...

Oh, yeah, i have an office sweater. In fact, my mother just replaced it for me for christmas with the EXACT SAME SWEATER. It is a boxy black chenille cardigan that i probably would not wear out there in the world, but works fine for the office. The problem with chenille, however, is that it sheds - the old one started getting bare on the part that i sat on to the point where you could actually see through it. That's why it was replaced. You shouldn't be able to see my butt through a black sweater.
Otherwise, i have a little yellow piggy bank that is full of pennies (the silver coins went into the vending machine a long time ago), a bunch of little stuffed animals (bunny, moose, etc) that were gifts from people, and a plethora of hand creams, magnets, random doo-dads. Oh and a big coffee mug that says, "Gratuities for Exceptional Service" just like the ones they have on the counters at Dunkin' Donuts. Cause sometimes i deserve a tip, is what i'm saying.

Artemisia said...

In DC I had a HIDEOUS office sweater - it was white with navy trim and gold buttons that had anchors on them? I got it from an older woman in my apartment building, and didn't have the heart to get rid of it.

Now I have an office fleece vest. Black. Boring, but at least it is not hideous.

At work:

I have a picture of my 2004 DC Kickball team.

A poster of a cute, freckled little boy holding a fly fishing rod while screaming. It says, "The day you learned to cast was the same day you learned to swear." I keep it up because I feel like I have to explain my dirty mouth to my co-workers.

Pictures of all the nephews and one (very spoiled!) niece, A. and my Friend-Family.

A bottle of Germ-X.

And a handcrafted copper patina bell.

Stay warm and Happy Friday to you!

desperate housewife said...

The only weirdness I can think of, really, is the fact that I have little stashes of chocolate all over, hidden away from Adelay's eagle eyes. I got a box of Whitman's Soho chocolates from my mom yesterday, and have been trying to steadily eat them all morning while concealing them from Addy because really, what a waste of fine confectionary that would be!

3carnations said...

I do have an office sweater! Mine is cream colored and zips. I hate when I forget to take it off when I leave and I wear it home, because I worry that I will forget it the next day, and therefore will freeze.

LoriD said...

I do not have an office sweater, because I dress in layers every day, in every season. So, what I do I in my office:

- an assortment of empty vases and plant pots, their contents long dead and buried

- steel-toe boots, safety glasses and two hard hats, just in case I have to visit a construction site (which I have not had to do in 3 years)

- sample sizes of toothpaste, gum, flavoured coffee and hand sanitizer that were at some point handed to me as I walked by a marketing booth

- an Inuit soapstone sculpture that was a gift 5 years ago - I can't think of a good place for it at home, so here it sits

- several refillable coffee mugs, all with the remnants of the last coffee I had in there

- an orange peeler, a paring knife, a fork and a spoon

- an assortment of food items, including pudding cups, diet Pepsi, instant soups - none of which have been touched or considered in at least 6 months

Sadly, I have no real pictures of my family - just the slideshow that comes up on my screensaver!

CAQuincy said...

Office sweaters were MANDATORY in our little meat locker. I used to keep more than one in case someone needed an extra (you'd be surprised how often someone forgets and wears their sweater home and then doesn't bring it back the next day). One girl had her son's "Hot Wheels" fleecy blanket--THAT was a luxurious cover-up! Along with another friend's sweater--it was hand-crocheted by her Aunt. It was like a blanket/poncho thing that was very, very thick and warm. I envied her that.

I also had office-only coffee mugs (a couple "stolen" from the lost-and-found!), a can opener (obviously from before Campbell's started putting that pull-ring on their soups), and a whole filing drawer full of food for when the 3:00 snackies hit, and you didn't want to pay the outrageous vending machine prices (and you never had change, and it NEVER accepted your wrinkly ol' dollars either!).

Now that I'm a SAHM, I find myself wearing my office sweater at home. But only on days when I'm feeling that the sweatshirt/sweatpants gear is bringing me down in the frumps, and I really, really need to clean up my act a bit. I really need to take that a step further and buy a new one, since this one is a hand-me-down and ragged and fraying. Ah well--'tis comfortable and not as frumpy as my 20 year-old college sweatshirts!

Banana said...

I have an office fleece - it's the company fleece - huge and comfortable, but UGLY.

A can opener
A steak knife
A picture of TM in swim trunks that he hates, but I love
Soy sauce packets
Salt and pepper packets
Fake sugar packets

Thomas said...

I guess we have to have a job first, right?

Valerie said...

Ah, I TOTALLY had an office sweater at my last job!! It was actually my coworker's, but we shared it. I need to bring one to my new job :)

Penny said...

ha! office sweater! I had one too.

Currently I have no office but at my last one, I had 3 empty, dirty flower vases and a jar containing the contents of a mouse stomach.

It's awesome to be a biologist sometimes.

Pickles & Dimes said...

I love this post!

I don't have an office sweater, but like Artemisia, I have an office black fleece vest. I usually only need a sweater in the summer when they crank the AC.

On my desk, I have a Batista figurine, a Twins baseball, my red lava lamp that I got in 1991, and as many thrift store and Ikea lamps as I can fit, since I refuse to turn on the fluorescents.