Thursday, January 31, 2008

Broken Record

I’m super depressed today. In fact, I woke up at 4am and turned over to Brett and woke him up to tell him I was sorry for moving here, so sorry. I have nothing but great timing. I mean, who doesn’t want to be awoken by their spouse at 4am to have her start bawling about how sorry she was for taking them away from things they both loved. I suck.

Last night’s badness was compounded by the fact that Millie, our poodle, had an accident on the bed. I awoke at 1:11am (why do I always look at the clock first? I mean, I could be awoken by a raging fire in my bedroom, and I’d still check the clock before I tried to escape out the second floor window) to Brett saying, “Oh fuck!” or something close to that, because Millie had an accident that soaked through our comforter and onto the sheets. So, we had a frantic stripping of the bed, and getting clean sheets on and sleeping under mismatched blankets that were just not as warm as our now pee soaked down comforter. This is not Millie’s fault mind you. She has an under developed vulva, so she is on hormone treatment, but sometimes she still has accidents when she sleeps. She was not happy about the situation either.

So I guess we will be taking a field trip to a Laundromat tonight as a king size down comforter certainly will not fit within the confines or our washing machine.

It is my morning routine to take a shower, then go out to the kitchen, turn on the local news, and make tea and try to get warm and wake up. I tend to watch the local CBS affiliate because their morning anchors were more tolerable than the other choices. However, one of the anchors died in a tragic snowmobile accident just one week ago. For some reason this has upset me more than it ought to. I was watching their coverage of his funeral this morning and I just started sobbing. Why? I didn’t know the guy, but it was just so sad and strange to have this familiar person, who was a daily constant, suddenly and tragically dead.

I’d love to blame my emotional lability on my period or some such, but I think it’s just the constant struggle to keep things together and try so hard to feel at home in a place that still feels unfamiliar. I am feeling extremely guilty for any hardship this move has given Brett (his business to talk about if he so chooses) and I miss our friends.

P.S. It's dress B. Surprisingly sliming and flattering!


The Dutchess of Kickball said...

I don't mean to be too self promoting but there is a division of the World Adult Kickball Association in Chicago. I have met so many amazing people from kickball and I highly recommend you check it out. (I am really not associated with them, I just love kickball) I can almost guarantee you will find some friends out there in Chicago to make the days less miserable.

Tessie said...

Oh no, oh no. And now *I* feel bad for liking Dress A too! I'm so sorry about all of this.

I always feel TERRIBLE when my pets have an accident, because I feel angry at first, but you can tell they KNOW they are not supposed to do it, but they obviously couldn't HELP IT, and it is just SO SAD.

JMC said...

I hope you feel better about things soon. Maybe try doing some things around Chicago this weekend that weren't available in Montana? Because I'm sure you haven't tried THAT already. Sorry, I'm no help.

Artemisia said...

Oh, honey. I am so, so sorry. I do hope your day cheers up a bit.

YAY FOR DRESS B!!! Woo hoo!

Once again, I say find a kickball league.

Dutchess -- I was part of the WAKA Washington, DC league (The original!!) - the "Constitution" league that played on the National Mall.

Flib - I met my best friends through kickball. I think you and Brett would be rock star kickballers!

animanous said...

First, its ok to wake me if you need to talk anytime, though I may be grouchy.

Second, I think I already indirectly talk about my own hardships of moving here all the time. Most of my blog is written in reminiscence of the past. I seriously need to live in the now. I will actively expound more on that animanous-ly, rather than in this comment area.

Third, I have not clicked the dress links, so rest assured I have not seen them. I am concerned however that you like the "sliming" dress. I was not aware the wedding was going to be Ghostbuster themed. I am very curious.

Fourth, Millie is in my lap as I type this, her tummy is rumbling with strange noises, she may be a little under the weather. Poor Millie.

Jess said...

Man, I'm sorry about all that stuff. I get excessively upset about the awful deaths of strangers too. I think it makes us human.

I hope you're feeling better by now. And Millie too.